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Archive for November, 2010

Ok, so I know that I’ve left you all in the lurch for the past few days.  Sorry about that!  I’ve been fighting with the video clips and photos from my trips to Buckingham Palace, the Houses Parliament, etc but hope to get a gallery up soon so that you can see them. Coming home yesterday was a very long, very emotional process, I have to say.  Eight and a half hours on a plane and then another four and a half on the train makes for a terribly long day.  Part of me was happy to just be home again, sleep in my own bed, take a shower in my own place. The other half was filled with anxiety and trepidation:  I still have to deal with my current life situation.  I’m still faced with the facts:  loss of the life I knew, loss of the life partner who did, and still does, mean the world to me, loss of emotional control overall.  It’s hard to have patience and let everything eventually shake out the way it’s supposed to. I mean, who in the world is ok with going from living with and loving someone for 12+ years and then having to start living alone again? To come home to an empty house, eat your meals alone, go shopping alone, have no one to converse with?  I want to change my way of thinking. I want to have hope, be ok with having her friendship at least and not losing at all. It’s a very difficult process but if there’s anything that London has taught me is that life flows in and around me, no matter what.  I can choose to be the rock in water and let it wear me down to sand or I could be the leaf in water and just let it guide me downriver.

All sounds nice and philosophical now but it’s much more difficult to put into practice (especially when your emotions are so very bipolar and somewhat schizophrenic from one moment to the next). So this trip has become less of a Freak, Fly, Spend (though I definitely did those things) and much more of a Try, Hope, Pray….and understand more fully what it means to love….myself, my former partner (who is still my best friend and will always be the love of my life), my family, my friends. I’ll keep you posted 😉

STAY TUNED:  Pictures, video and some really whack stories about swearing lorry drivers, even scarier taxi drivers and why one should NEVER ignore the WALK/DON’T WALK signs on London streets.

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